A Happy Marriage (Part 2)
In the last article, we talked about some tips to keep in mind for a happy and lasting marriage.
Briefly, these were - being happy with yourself and your life before you can be capable of making your spouse happy, considering the new entity of "we" in a marriage without becoming co-dependent, leaving behind the emotional baggage of past relationships, and making your spouse your priority.
Today, let's look at more ways to keep your marriage rewarding and joyful. I'd like to emphasise again how important it is to ensure that your marriage is your top priority. You didn't get married to commute two hours a day, or work at the office 60 hours a week. You probably got married to share your life, your hopes, your dreams (not your bills) with that special someone.
During life's ups and especially during life's downs, keep in mind why you married in the first place. Not jobs, nor cars, nor your favorite sports team. At one time, your partner was the most important thing in this world to you. Act like it today and every day.
Don't compare. This holds true in your life as well as in your marriage. There will always be a couple that seems happier, wealthier, sexier, and more perfect than you two are. So what? Their happiness doesn't increase or diminish your happiness. Neither does their money, their jobs, their house, or their glamour.
All that matters is whether you and your spouse have created a relationship that works for you.
Don't wonder "what if?" Wondering what it would be like to be with another person-for a night or for a lifetime-is self-delusion and is really unfair to your spouse. You see other people socially when they are at their best. You see your spouse when he/she is at his best, her average, and sometimes at her worst. If you could swap mates, guess what? You'd see that person at his/her worst, and you probably wouldn't like what you see.
In the last article, we talked about some tips to keep in mind for a happy and lasting marriage.
Briefly, these were - being happy with yourself and your life before you can be capable of making your spouse happy, considering the new entity of "we" in a marriage without becoming co-dependent, leaving behind the emotional baggage of past relationships, and making your spouse your priority.
Today, let's look at more ways to keep your marriage rewarding and joyful. I'd like to emphasise again how important it is to ensure that your marriage is your top priority. You didn't get married to commute two hours a day, or work at the office 60 hours a week. You probably got married to share your life, your hopes, your dreams (not your bills) with that special someone.
During life's ups and especially during life's downs, keep in mind why you married in the first place. Not jobs, nor cars, nor your favorite sports team. At one time, your partner was the most important thing in this world to you. Act like it today and every day.
Don't compare. This holds true in your life as well as in your marriage. There will always be a couple that seems happier, wealthier, sexier, and more perfect than you two are. So what? Their happiness doesn't increase or diminish your happiness. Neither does their money, their jobs, their house, or their glamour.
All that matters is whether you and your spouse have created a relationship that works for you.
Don't wonder "what if?" Wondering what it would be like to be with another person-for a night or for a lifetime-is self-delusion and is really unfair to your spouse. You see other people socially when they are at their best. You see your spouse when he/she is at his best, her average, and sometimes at her worst. If you could swap mates, guess what? You'd see that person at his/her worst, and you probably wouldn't like what you see.
Commitment means no matter what. It's as simple as making the decision to be totally committed to your spouse and to the relationship. No matter what happens financially, or health wise, or otherwise. No matter what. Once the two of you have decided to stay "no matter what", there is no question of stay or go, yes or no. Now the emphasis is on problem solving. And all couples have problems. Happy couples learn to deal with their problems. Unhappy couples eventually just run away.
A happy marriage won't happen by itself. It takes intention, commitment, and practice. But the couples who have happy, blissful, and satisfying marriages are proof that it is possible. Just choose to be happy, and choose to be happily married.
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