A Happy Marriage (Part 1)

A Happy Marriage (Part 1)

So you've found someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. And you've decided to get married.

There's no manual for a happy marriage, but you have a pretty good feeling that your love will help you weather the storms all relationships inevitably go through. In addition to that, here are some things to remember for a happy and healthy marriage.

1. It starts with you

The happier you are with yourself and your life, the more attractive you are to your partner. Another way to look at this is: if you were someone else, would you marry you? Start today to work on being the kind of person you would want to know, date, and marry. If you're not that kind of person, how can you expect your spouse to stay attracted or stay passionate?

2. There's you, there's him/her, and then there's we.

You don't have to give up your identity or be known as your spouse's partner.
It also doesn't work when two people each do their own thing without regard to their partner's wishes and feelings. Marriage is, and should be, more than cohabitation. As the marriage vows state, "two shall be as one". That "one" is neither you nor him. The "one" is a third entity: the relationship, the marriage, the "we". The "we" is what you share, what you have in common, the nurturing that cannot be provided on your own. Think companionship, intimacy, and sharing.

3. Leave behind your emotional baggage

Are you really over your previous relationship? If not, you can't fully commit to your spouse. Likewise, if you are still Daddy's little girl or Mommy's boy, you are not in control of your own life. Therefore, you cannot fully enter into an adult relationship of mutual sharing and support. You can't be accountable to your spouse if you have to keep pleasing Mommy or Daddy.

4. Your marriage comes first

Marriage is the strongest bond between two people.

Parents are here and one day they are gone. Children grow into adults and leave to start their own lives. Your spouse is only person who is meant to stay with you the rest of your time on this planet. Women who say their children come first are usually unable to let their children grow up and become independent adults. These women are always surprised when their mates get tired of being number two, and decide to leave for someone else who WILL put them first.